The true me

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You know what? Actually I identified myself as a silly, temperamental, emotional, childish, patience, and cuddly person at the same time. I become different person in every situation and places, also depend on with who I spending my time. But not always. It also depend on my personal emotions and feeling that day. Confusing, right? Ha ha.

My personality changes in every situations. What most people don’t know about me, even my closest friend is the fact that actually I turn into a silly person when I am spending my time at home with my family. I can fill the house with my jokes and humor wich is didn’t come out when I am with my friend or other people outside. I am super happy when my jokes works in front of people and can make them laugh. But it is just work in front of my family. Other than that, my family (parent and siblings) never judged me. I just acted like a fool at home in a funny way. I just want to make them happy and laugh beside our struggle in life. I have never been afraid to be judged at home. Because I know they always loving me no matter what. I think that’s why I can freely express myself in front of them. 

And surprisingly, for people that don’t know much about me, I am actually a cuddly person. I love to cuddle in my mom’s arm. She have been sick since I was a kid until this day. She has problem with her mental health. But that doesn’t matter because I still love her. I also such a cry baby. I easily crying. My heart is so weak. The weird thing is, I just crying when I am alone or in front of my family. But,,, I tend to be okay in front of my friends, in front of many people. I tend to be strong because I don’t want to be judged by other people that I am a weak person. I can’t even be myself in front of people. What a pity! 

I am too afraid to be judged by everyone. Because I would think that they hate me. They don’t like me. Then, I would think why they hate me? Am I doing something wrong? What is my mistake? Why they look at me like that? Why they are laughing at me like that? Am I that weird? Am I that bad? Am I look like a foolish? Am I too quiet? So that all of you just laughing at me. 

THAT’S WHY I CAN’T BEING MY SELF IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, IN THIS SOCIETY. BECAUSE I AM AFRAID TO BE JUDGED.

It’s so different when I am spending my time with my family. I know that they love me, so they never want me to be down nor to be hated. 

And,,one thing that I really want to write about is…..

ABOUT BEING QUIET

I also like being quiet. Why? Well, I don’t know! Because this is who I am!

So, why being quiet is something taboo in this society? I talk when I want and need to talk. I don’t like to talk trash! What’s wrong with being quiet? Society is really scarry and weird.

The society make a quiet person is the weakest, foolest, stupid person that ever born in this world. Ha ha, funny.

No, I am not angry. I just want to tell you what in my mind based on my experience. How they treat quiet person, both male and female, it’s the same  since I was a kid until I become an adult. I don’t know is it about the society or the human itself? 

As much as I know from my childrenhood until adulthood, many of them underestimate a quiet person. Not just towards me, but also to other quiet people. They act and think like quiet people is the weakest people that ever excist.I don’t think people like that have humanity inside of their heart.

Being quiet is not wrong.

Being loud also not wrong.

As long as you don’t hurt other people. They have heart and feeling just like you (unless you’re a psyco). That what makes you “human”.

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Okay, just this for today! 

Have a great day tomorrow!

>v<

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